


like from the movies, and stuff.

by jamieisntgay



Category: Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous (Cartoon)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Love Confessions, M/M, Self-Doubt, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 20:21:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28962372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jamieisntgay/pseuds/jamieisntgay
Summary: Kenji has grown up watching movies. Maybe it's time he starts living one.
Relationships: Kenji Kon/Ben Pincus
Comments: 2
Kudos: 82





	like from the movies, and stuff.

It felt like it was eating Kenji up from the inside out, and that every thing he said or did was somehow motivated by it, these feelings. He was able to push it down and ignore it in the beginning, in his head he thought that once he got away from here, off this island, he wouldn't need to think about it anymore. He'd stop caring about it, just like how he had lost interest in everything else his life. It would be just something that had happened, a mistake that never should have happened. And then he'd forget. 

Yet, when the problem went away earlier then expected, it was like all those feelings had managed to intensify even further, still eating his heart out.

No, that wasn't fair. Ben wasn't 'a problem'. He was probably the best thing about this fucking place. His stupid little fanny-pack with a never ending supply of hand sanitiser, cranberry bars and juice boxes, his fear of almost anything and everything, how he'd clutch onto Kenji's arm whenever he got spooked, like he trusted Kenji to protect him. Nobody had ever trusted Kenji to do anything, let alone protect them from the horrors that followed them everywhere they went on the island.

Still though, he thought that, that when Ben was.. gone... that those feelings would eventually disappear. Just fizzle out. How could Kenji pay attention to all the little quirks and traits of someone who wasn't even there? How could he get butterflies in his stomach that were starting to eat at his heart for someone who wasn't there? But all he could about think was how he wasn't there, how he wasn't there for Kenji to sit and admire and take him all in when he wasn't looking. 

Ben wasn't the problem. Kenji was. Ben was gone and Kenji still felt like this.

Then he, Ben, came back. It was as if the universe had given them a second chance, like it was some kind of sign. Ben should have been dead, there was no denying it. He shouldn't have been able to survive out there in the wilds for as long as he did all by himself, if he had managed to survive that fall in the first place. It was like the stuff from movies. Nobody, least of all Ben, would survive something like that and for it to not be somehow the universe trying to push Kenji into doing something about these feelings.

Kenji didn't believe in God. He wasn't sure if he even really believed what he was telling himself about the universe. But he had seen movies, he knew that this was the stuff from movies. And what better things to make movies about then kids being stranded with dinosaurs?

If he didn't tell him, he'd regret it. He'd just keep thinking about him and all those constant 'what ifs'. 

He had to tell him. It would eat him alive if he didn't. He had gotten his second chance, but how many chances would he be given before it was his last one?

He had to tell him. At least to stop questioning himself.

"Hey, can we talk? Like, alone?" They were practically alone already, the only other 'person', if you could really call a dinosaur a person, was Bumpy. Ben was stepping out with a bucket, his turn to get fresh water for the camp to drink tonight.

Kenji had waited practically all day for this moment, where Ben would be well away from everyone else, and they'd be hidden underneath the darkness with nothing but the moon and the stars to light up the area. There was no way he could just go up to Ben in front of everyone and ask him to talk privately. Ben might have been clueless, but the rest of the campers had enough cop-on to put two and two together. And there was no way he could say this with the sun lighting up his face, for Ben to see just how much this actually meant to him. 

Even with nothing but the stars and the moon to light up his features, he could tell Ben was confused, with an eyebrow raised as he stared back at Kenji. Without another word though, his dinosaur friend seemed to, weirdly enough, understand the message and leave them alone, trotting her way back to the camp. At least that was one less person to be embarrassed in front of if it all went wrong.

"Uh, yeah, I guess. What is it?" He still spoke like the Ben who first arrived at camp. He still used excessive amounts of hand sanitiser, which definitely made him a fire hazard, that was for sure. But he was different now, wasn't he? He wasn't jumping at every shadow, he wasn't waiting other people to fight his battles for him. He wasn't the person who had once seemed to unknowingly ask Kenji to protect him one night, without a single word. And if Kenji wasn't there to protect him, then what good was he really to him?

Whatever silent promise Ben had asked of Kenji, it was clear he didn't need Kenji to do as he asked. Not anymore.

"Ugh," he shook his head, looking down at his feet. This was dumb. He never should have come here tonight, never should have thought he'd be able to actually say what he wanted to say and for the answer to not just be no, "Forget it actually, you wouldn't get it."

People didn't trust Kenji. People didn't rely on Kenji. Fuck, he didn't even rely on himself. He paid people he relied on to do everything for him. He was just that spoiled rich kid who didn't put himself out for anyone. He wouldn't even clean his room, and he thought Ben trusted him to take care of his life?

Kenji turned around, biting the inside of his cheek before he felt it, stopping as he felt that strong familiar grip around his wrist, the one he was used to and missed, like he has never been without it before. It was still Ben. He had still asked Kenji to protect him. Even if it wasn't necessary, even if Kenji didn't keep his promises half the time, he'd make sure he'd do this one. 

"Just say what you're thinking, Kenji. Come on, whatever it is, it's definitely not a big deal."

But what if it was?

Boy meets girls. Boy falls for girl. Boy kisses girl. Boy marries girl. Boy and girl live out their happily ever after. That was the stuff from movies, the stuff Kenji had grown up watching. He'd meet a girl. He'd fall for her. He'd kiss her. They'd get married. They'd be happy, if he was lucky.

How many times did the story go where the boy fell for a boy. How many stories were there where the boy kisses a boy and it doesn't end up in a disaster?

Would Ben even be able to look at him after he said it? The other campers? What if they couldn't, what if they saw him differently after this? What if he risked the one good thing he really cared about? 

"Tell me that story shout how you fought toro again."

"Again? But you've heard that story fifty times by now?" He raised an eyebrow at him, confused.

"Yeah man, and it gets way cooler everytime you say it," the darker haired one laughed, turning around and using his free hand to give him a playful punch in the shoulder.

The other boy laughed, a blush clearly on his cheeks, being able to be seen in the dark of the night. He scratched the back of his neck, his eyes advertly looking down away from Kenji. "Well, huh, that.. that means alot cause... Cause I think you're really cool, Kenji."

Kenji smiled weakly as he watched Ben recant the story he could probably tell from heart by now because he had heard it so many times. Ben thought he was cool. And that what Kenji thought of him mattered. Maybe that was enough. Not every movie ended with a happy ending. Maybe it was enough, that Ben was here, with him, and they were alive. Maybe it was enough that he was able to protect him still without ruining everything. 

Maybe that was enough.

Because it wasn't like Kenji deserved a happy ending anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing a fanfiction.


End file.
